By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Jennifer_Lopaz]Jennifer Lopaz A stylish feature rich handset with a sophisticated metallic finish that is the Nokia 3120 for you. A high resolution matrix color display enhances the pleasure one gets in using this sleek mobile phone from Nokia. An easy-to-use interface makes it possible for a user to access the interesting and fun options that are a part of this amazing mobile phone model - all at the click of a few buttons. Truly, the fun never stops with the 3120 mobile. There is an innovative camera integrated in the model, using which one can capture fleeting moments from life and build beautiful memories. The images can then be shared with others in the form of MMS messages; with the Nokia 3120 one could make friends and family privy to some of the most memorable moments of life. Not only that, it is possible to reduce the size of the messages by scaling down the images to a smaller size. Quite innovative, isnt it? The handset can be customized by downloading polyphonic ringtones, animated screensavers, Java games one could then enjoy all these and more in the vivid color display. Color wallpapers and screensavers are pre-loaded in the mobile phone to initiate a user to this wonderful experience. However, it is not just fun that we are talking here. The Nokia 3120 also means business. Connectivity is comprehensive. The handset is capable of tri-band operation and can be used in Europe, Africa, Asia-pacific, North America and South America with compatible networks. Call management is easy with options that include speed dialing, call waiting, call hold, call divert and call timer. There is an integrated handsfree speaker for more comfortable use of the handset. The Nokia 3120 comes with an XHTML browser so it is possible to use the handset for surfing the web. The graphics are richer and the experience highly satisfying! And the best part is the availability of attractive contract deals on this and other handsets from Nokia. The easy availability of Nokia contract phones has brought innovative mobiles within the reach of a greater cross-section of phone users in different parts of the world. [http://www.mobilerainbow.co.uk/ ]Mobile Phones Buy [http://www.mobilerainbow.co.uk/alldeals.asp?id=146 target=_blank]Nokia 3120 mobile phone from uk leading phone shop with Orange, T, O2 and Vodafone mobile phone networks. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jennifer_Lopaz http://EzineArticles.com/?A-Unique-Blend-of-Fun-and-Functionality&id=366137 unsecure personal loan
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Tips For Productivity
By Bette Daoust, Ph.D. How can print media help with productivity tips? I recently received a business card from a person selling local and long distance telephone services. His card held some really useful information. It held tips on how to answer the phone with courtesy. Instead of throwing his card into my deep pile, I pinned it on my wall with the tips facing me. The card is small enough not to interfere with all other documents I have posted. Using a business card in this manner was an excellent idea; you can expand on this by giving shortcut tips, faster ways to accomplish routine tasks or even a way to improve processes. I often use job-aids for such purposes and really appreciate it when I get some from my suppliers. Another unique item I received from a company called Total Rebound: Total Adventures was a year long calendar that had a peel off back so I could stick it to the bottom of my monitor. I have seen these in other places too, but it is such a short cut and time saver for looking up dates, and it provides me a way to increase productivity. Use your imagination to create information that will help your prospects or customers. Use these aids when networking to create a conversation piece, get people talking. Giving out pointers, tips, shortcuts, etc., is just another way to catch the attention of potential customers. It gives you (and them) an excuse to talk about what you do. Once the conversation is open, take time to set a first meeting and find out more. Bette Daoust, Ph.D. has been networking with others since leaving high school years ago. Realizing that no one really cared about what she did in life unless she had someone to tell and excite. She decided to find the best ways to get peoples attention, be creative in how she presented herself and products, getting people to know who she was, and being visible all the time. Her friends and colleagues have often dubbed her the Networking Queen. Blueprints for Success - Networking: 150 ways to promote yourself is the first in this series. Blueprints for Success Branding Yourself: Another 150 ways to promote yourself is planned for release in 2006. For more information visit http://www.BlueprintBooks.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bette_Daoust,_Ph.D. http://EzineArticles.com/?Tips-For-Productivity&id=180842 paycheck witholding estimator 2008
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Friday, May 23, 2008
Look for the Signs! Signs of Depression
By Carl English For going on twenty years, I showed strongly, felt deeply, questioned, and tried to investigate what I didnt realize were what about 15 million people go through every year: the signs of depression that have now been researched, therapeutically investigated, and now have successful depression treatment. Before I realised that ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) was the heaviness weighing me down exponentially every day, along with the symptoms of depression, I had a hell of a time staying on focused on the now in the real world. I was dragging my (emotionally and physically) corpse out of bed, where I wouldve rathered stay. Finding it futile to make my bed, as I would just be climbing into it again. I found most outings and daily activitiesthose that used to inspire medull, useless and dead boring! Definite depression signs. I was moany and bitchy. Sometimes, more than a few times actually, I would reach the point of crying. In fact I reached the stage that I would cry at least every day, and even every hour!
The symptoms of depression became overwhelming and unbearable. I would look in the mirror to maybe have a shave, and would hear the cold voices in my head, almost very confidently, straight to the point say, Well, you may as well do yourself in now, kill yourself, what else is left. My manic depressive life was saying to me death was the ONLY option and solution available. I had battled for years to exercise by powerwalking 5 miles a day; write, journal, help others, pray, meet people, diet, sleep it off, burn it off by not sleeping, go to twelve step programs, and visit a counselor or therapist. One of the first therapists, a brilliant doctor who volunteered at a clinic in the country, told me that while I pontificated over being clean and sober and not being medicated, I was like the person who walked through a rough part of town at three a.m., got stabbed, and stood there philosophizing about whether or not to get medical help. He said, You have a hole in your heart; we need to fix it. He prescribed Prozac. Carl English's Pen name is Dr. Happiness. He has been through the depths of Depression and now dedicates his time to helping others. For the rest of this article and plenty more stop by and Smile (if you can manage) to Signs of Depression. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carl_English http://EzineArticles.com/?Look-for-the-Signs!-Signs-of-Depression&id=182788 financing computers no credit check
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The symptoms of depression became overwhelming and unbearable. I would look in the mirror to maybe have a shave, and would hear the cold voices in my head, almost very confidently, straight to the point say, Well, you may as well do yourself in now, kill yourself, what else is left. My manic depressive life was saying to me death was the ONLY option and solution available. I had battled for years to exercise by powerwalking 5 miles a day; write, journal, help others, pray, meet people, diet, sleep it off, burn it off by not sleeping, go to twelve step programs, and visit a counselor or therapist. One of the first therapists, a brilliant doctor who volunteered at a clinic in the country, told me that while I pontificated over being clean and sober and not being medicated, I was like the person who walked through a rough part of town at three a.m., got stabbed, and stood there philosophizing about whether or not to get medical help. He said, You have a hole in your heart; we need to fix it. He prescribed Prozac. Carl English's Pen name is Dr. Happiness. He has been through the depths of Depression and now dedicates his time to helping others. For the rest of this article and plenty more stop by and Smile (if you can manage) to Signs of Depression. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carl_English http://EzineArticles.com/?Look-for-the-Signs!-Signs-of-Depression&id=182788 financing computers no credit check
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Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Gain Control and Lose Weight with Lap Band Surgery
By Chris Robertson Many people want and need to lose weight but can't seem to make any progress. Having surgery to lose weight is good for seriously overweight patients who have tried and failed other treatments. Studies have shown that weight-loss surgery such as lap band surgery has helped patients to sustain their weight loss longer than non-surgical therapies. By having this surgery, you will be on the road to better health and improving your quality of life. What is Lap Band Surgery? The safest and least invasive weight-loss surgery is the lap band surgery. There is no stomach cutting, stapling, or gastrointestinal re-routing involved in the lap band surgery. This reduces post-operative pain and hastens recovery. The name "lap-band' comes from the surgical technique, laparoscopic, and the name of the implanted device. During the procedure, the lap band surgeon usually uses the laparoscopic technique. Instead of making a large incision, they make tiny incisions and use instruments to insert the lap band. There is less of a chance of side effects and nutritional deficiencies that are often associated with gastric surgeries. Lap band surgery involves placing an adjustable gastric band around the upper stomach to create a smaller stomach pocket. This limits the amount of food a person can consume at one time. With a smaller stomach, you feel full faster, and the food moves more slowly between your upper and lower stomach. This helps you to eat less and lose weight. Once the band is placed around the stomach, it is connected to an access port in the skin of your abdomen. The surgeon can then inject the inside of the stomach with saline solution. This adjusts the size of the stomach outlet to restrict the amount of food that can be moved through it. This process helps determine the rate of weight loss. It can be adjusted to individual needs as you lose weight or help speed up weight loss. It can be adjusted or removed without surgery. Learning to Eat After Surgery After surgery there are some dietary limitations that are advantageous for the patient. For the first three to four days following surgery, patients must have a clear liquid diet. This gives the patient time to adjust to the new stomach and avoid complications. For the first three months after surgery, no caffeine drinks such as coffee, tea, or soda are allowed. Carbonated drinks are not recommended because they can cause gas and bloating. They could also cause the stomach size to increase because of the carbonation. The next phase is a modified liquid diet that helps you adjust to eating small meals. You will be given instructions on how much protein and vegetables to eat. The lap band diet does not include most bread, potatoes or starchy foods. You will be encouraged to eat a lot of protein to avoid a deficiency and side effects. Lose Weight and Keep It Off After lap band surgery, you will learn to eat small bites and eat slowly. There will be some foods that will be ruled out to avoid causing digestive problems. As you begin to lose weight these adjustments in diet will become a new way of life. To save money, you can check on having the surgery in Mexico. There are websites that give information on doctors and clinics in both the U.S. and Mexico. There are new options available for people who cannot lose weight and keep it off. Find out if lapband surgery would work for you. Chris Robertson is an author of Majon International, one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing companies on the web.
Learn more about Guide for Lap Band Surgery or Majon's Health and Beauty directory. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Robertson http://EzineArticles.com/?Gain-Control-and-Lose-Weight-with-Lap-Band-Surgery&id=533839 payday loans no direct deposit or faxing
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Learn more about Guide for Lap Band Surgery or Majon's Health and Beauty directory. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Robertson http://EzineArticles.com/?Gain-Control-and-Lose-Weight-with-Lap-Band-Surgery&id=533839 payday loans no direct deposit or faxing
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Sunday, May 18, 2008
How Traumatic Memories Cause Physical Illness
By Nick Arrizza, M.D. It has been my view that all physical illnesses are the result of traumatic emotional events that occur to us during our lives or are carried over from our intergenerational lineage as DNA memories. Let me explain. When a traumatic event occurs to an individual the record of the event i.e. the memory with all of its elements (emotional and otherwise) becomes stored in the mind/body at all levels chemically and physiologically. That is because the mind/body duality which was once thought to exist exists no longer. That is an emotional event is essentially also a chemical and then ultimately a physical event (Please see Dr. Candace Pert's book "Molecules of Emotion") I would go further and say that there is a spectrum of homeostasis that I depict below diagrammatically: Thought Emotion Chemical (Includes DNA) Physical In other words a change at any level in this spectrum will become reflected as a change in all other levels. So if we have say a chemical change i.e. as we might experience with the intake of a poorly tolerated food, this will usher in mental, emotional and physical changes as well. In the same manner a change in the mental/emotional dimensions will also become reflected in the chemical/physical dimensions of the individual. Hence as we accumulate in our so called "mind" (which as I said is no longer considered separate and indivisible from the body) our "life history" this history becomes reflected at all levels including chemical and physical. Therefore what is being said here is that our life history will affect the chemical and physical functioning and structure of our bodies. At the most significant level it will affect the structure and functioning of our DNA itself. In the same way the cumulative life experience of our parents and ancestors which became stored in their DNA is also passed on to us. In other words our life history makes us susceptible to becoming ill, aging and death as it becomes stored in our mind/body. This was shown to be the case in a case study I undertook over a year ago with a client who had developed Macular Degeneration of one eye. This individual had lost over 85% of his vision in that eye. Working with him with a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP) I was able to uncover and help him completely release the memories of the events that were related to the loss of his vision. As we did this his vision returned almost to normal in that eye and remained that way. The implications of this result in my view brings into question some of our beliefs about not only the nature of illness but also how we are treating it as well as the nature of evolution as we currently understand it today. Let me elaborate on the last point here. Evolution as espoused by Charles Darwin is considered to be a process that takes hundreds of thousands of years to manifest. I am proposing that in fact it takes much less time than that. One traumatic experience alone can do it. We don't see the kinds of species changes that one would expect from Darwin's postulates i.e. changes in physical characteristics but what we do see are those changes that we call physical or chemical malfunction that manifest as what we define as illnesses. In other words these chemical/physical changes are evolutionary changes that are occurring on a "micro scale" but are evolutionary never the less. Isn't it interesting for instance that one can develop an illness that was never seen in one's genetic pool or that new and strange illnesses are showing up every couple of decades? These are in my view evolutionary changes brought upon us by our ever changing life circumstances on this planet. What is important to note however is that now there is a way to stabilize and more importantly direct our evolution! Here I do not mean through the use of genetic engineering or nanotechnology. Rather I'm referring to the ability to access and release the negative conditioning stored as life experience in our minds/bodies once and for all employing MRP. It has been my experience working with clients with MRP that one can begin the process or restoring the "ecology" of the mind/body at all levels thereby reclaiming control over the direction of one's mental, emotional, physical and evolutionary health. If you would like to take charge of your health and evolution kindly visit the web link below and set up an Introductory Consultation. Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being. Web Site: http://www.telecoaching4u.com/IntroConsult.htm Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_Arrizza,_M.D. http://EzineArticles.com/?How-Traumatic-Memories-Cause-Physical-Illness&id=173103 citibank personal loan
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Making Money With Give-Aways
By Ken Smith The guy who thought of giving away free rolls of film every time you have
your films developed at his photo center - is a genius! You know the rest of the story, and so do thousands of other photo centers
around the world who copy this excellent promotion. STRETCHING DOLLARS A budget conscious market is always out looking for a free lunch. For
this reason, you can build a marketing system that self-liquidates its
associated cost, distributing gift certificates that offer free this or
free that - all the customer has to do is pay a minimal shipping and
handling charge. FREE SOFTWARE In Las Vegas, I met a poker player who sells software he put together for
$29 and higher. To double the volume and reach other markets, he decided to
repackage his software. He gave it a new name, made a new disk label,
and offered it at a ridiculous price: FREE To receive the software, all you have to do is fill out the gift certificate
and send it back to him with $8.69 for shipping and handling. THEY WENT APE! He was giving the certificates to schools, businesses, and
stores who give away the certificates as their own promotional gifts to their
customers. Because the cost to produce and mail this disk is 60 cents, he
was making $8 with every certificate that was redeemed for the free software. $800,000 IN 27 WEEKS Take a snapshot of this picture: Say, a total of 1 Million certificates
were circulated. Let's say you paid half a penny to print and distribute
these million certificates. Your cost is $5,000. If you generate a 7%
conversion, you'll earn $560,000.00 NUMBERS GAME If you give other people permission to make copies of and give away your
certificates, your cost to circulate 1 Million certificates will go down.
But your opportunity to make money remains the same. 1% response = $80,000 2% response = $160,000 3% response = $240,000 5% response = $400,000 10% response = $800,000 THE INTERNET Now, if you do the same thing on the internet you will see similar results. One thing to note is that with the internet you dont have the cost of normal advertising and you have a vast array of advertising venues. Here are just a few of the advertising venues that can be utilized: Classified ads (free and paid)
Pay per clicks (ie., Google adwords)
Ezine advertising
Co-op advertising
Joint Venture advertising The possibilities are almost endless! Another point to consider about going the internet route is that you dont have to have an actual physical product to give away. Give ebooks, Special Reports, and the like that cost very little to produce or you can put the previously mentioned items on a CD and mail it to the prospect. If you plan to mail the item it should look very professional remember, your reputation is on the line. And last but certainly not least, your give away must have value, people do not want junk! Make sure your give away is valuable to the audience you have targeted. To Your Success, Ken Smith
www.lessons4success.com
www.powerteamsuccess.blogger.com I'm married and the father of Three. For many years I have searched for and tried many Home Based business opportunities. Some worked some didn't. Many claimed "instant success with no money", "start on a shoe-string", etc., etc., etc., I admit that many of the programs and ideas would and will truly work and bring in tremendous incomes but most required a lot of out-of-pocket expense which I didn't have at the time. I had almost given up on the idea of having a home-based profitable business that could generate enough income to release both me and my wife from the J.O.B. and then I met Chris and Julie Chojnowski. Call (212) 461-2595 for a quick overview or visit http://www.lessons4success.com Chris and Julie have built a team with the fastest growing internet business of it's kind. I have seen, in the past few days, internet "big dogs", names I have been seeing for several years, joining this business and taking off like a rocket. It's all about timing. and the time is now. Join us as we journey to success http://www.lessons4success.com
See You At The Top, Ken Smith
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your films developed at his photo center - is a genius! You know the rest of the story, and so do thousands of other photo centers
around the world who copy this excellent promotion. STRETCHING DOLLARS A budget conscious market is always out looking for a free lunch. For
this reason, you can build a marketing system that self-liquidates its
associated cost, distributing gift certificates that offer free this or
free that - all the customer has to do is pay a minimal shipping and
handling charge. FREE SOFTWARE In Las Vegas, I met a poker player who sells software he put together for
$29 and higher. To double the volume and reach other markets, he decided to
repackage his software. He gave it a new name, made a new disk label,
and offered it at a ridiculous price: FREE To receive the software, all you have to do is fill out the gift certificate
and send it back to him with $8.69 for shipping and handling. THEY WENT APE! He was giving the certificates to schools, businesses, and
stores who give away the certificates as their own promotional gifts to their
customers. Because the cost to produce and mail this disk is 60 cents, he
was making $8 with every certificate that was redeemed for the free software. $800,000 IN 27 WEEKS Take a snapshot of this picture: Say, a total of 1 Million certificates
were circulated. Let's say you paid half a penny to print and distribute
these million certificates. Your cost is $5,000. If you generate a 7%
conversion, you'll earn $560,000.00 NUMBERS GAME If you give other people permission to make copies of and give away your
certificates, your cost to circulate 1 Million certificates will go down.
But your opportunity to make money remains the same. 1% response = $80,000 2% response = $160,000 3% response = $240,000 5% response = $400,000 10% response = $800,000 THE INTERNET Now, if you do the same thing on the internet you will see similar results. One thing to note is that with the internet you dont have the cost of normal advertising and you have a vast array of advertising venues. Here are just a few of the advertising venues that can be utilized: Classified ads (free and paid)
Pay per clicks (ie., Google adwords)
Ezine advertising
Co-op advertising
Joint Venture advertising The possibilities are almost endless! Another point to consider about going the internet route is that you dont have to have an actual physical product to give away. Give ebooks, Special Reports, and the like that cost very little to produce or you can put the previously mentioned items on a CD and mail it to the prospect. If you plan to mail the item it should look very professional remember, your reputation is on the line. And last but certainly not least, your give away must have value, people do not want junk! Make sure your give away is valuable to the audience you have targeted. To Your Success, Ken Smith
www.lessons4success.com
www.powerteamsuccess.blogger.com I'm married and the father of Three. For many years I have searched for and tried many Home Based business opportunities. Some worked some didn't. Many claimed "instant success with no money", "start on a shoe-string", etc., etc., etc., I admit that many of the programs and ideas would and will truly work and bring in tremendous incomes but most required a lot of out-of-pocket expense which I didn't have at the time. I had almost given up on the idea of having a home-based profitable business that could generate enough income to release both me and my wife from the J.O.B. and then I met Chris and Julie Chojnowski. Call (212) 461-2595 for a quick overview or visit http://www.lessons4success.com Chris and Julie have built a team with the fastest growing internet business of it's kind. I have seen, in the past few days, internet "big dogs", names I have been seeing for several years, joining this business and taking off like a rocket. It's all about timing. and the time is now. Join us as we journey to success http://www.lessons4success.com
See You At The Top, Ken Smith
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Monday, May 12, 2008
The Best Gifts for the Best Man
By Michael Kabel Of all the members of a wedding party, the best man position is probably both the least appreciated and the most misunderstood. The best man is a part of a wedding tradition that dates back centuries, to the earliest ideas of nobility and gentlemanly conduct. In very real terms, the best man is the individual chosen by the groom to act as his second, or chief of affairs, during the wedding preparation and during the ceremony. The best man helps plan the rehearsal dinner, coordinate the other groomsmen, troubleshoot all of the unforeseen crisis that arise up to the beginning of the ceremony, and then organizes the wedding procession. And being the best man sometimes literally means saving the wedding and the marriage before it has a chance to begin. I once heard of a wedding in which the groom got cold feet the morning of the big event. Panicked and feeling confined, he attempted to sneak out the back entrance of his hotel (the wedding was in the brides hometown) and steal away like a thief in the night. Luckily, the best man his friend since high school caught him in time and was able to soothe the grooms nerves, preventing certain heartbreak. So given all the pressures and responsibilities pressed upon him, you can see why the gift your best man receives should be a lasting token of your appreciation. Its not just a honorarium, and its not a token of your affection. The best man gift is for real, proof you know whats he put up with, what hes done, and what it means to you. As such, weve prepared three simple suggestions to help you make the best possible choice. Remember that these are guidelines more than rules, but that the closer you follow them, the better off youll be when selecting a gift. 1. Make the gift personal. Giving a lovely gift is one thing, and bound to get appreciative gestures and vigorous thanks. But to make something truly unique, consider getting your best man a gift thats personalized, either with his monogram or initials. Such gifts might include a personalized beer stein or even jewelry such as a bracelet or ring. 2. Make the Gift Meaningful. Expensive gifts are nice, and personalized gifts are instant keepsakes. Be careful that your gift evokes the sense of familiarity and friendship thats as unique as your times together, though. For example, if you played chess together, a chess set would be a gift that evokes your friendship. If you two used to hit the town or even work together, a personalized money clip would make a great gift he can use for years to come. 3. Dont be Afraid to Spend Money. Exactly as it says, be generous with your gift, because the best man has spent a lot of his own money on your event. Remember that, and remember that the gift should last a lifetime. That might mean opening the wallet some. Mike Kabel is Creative Content Editor for FavorAffair.com. Favor Affair has a complete selection of gifts and accessories for your best man, groomsmen, and wedding guests alike. For a complete look at their catalog, please visit their website here: http://www.favoraffair.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Kabel http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Best-Gifts-for-the-Best-Man&id=416178 baton rouge car loan for people with bad credit
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Sunday, May 4, 2008
What Makes a Professional Houston Moving Company Professional?
By Ted Garvin In the United States, including the Houston area, you will come across a number of different individuals and companies who claim to be professionals. Unfortunately, not all of those individuals and companies can actually be classified as professionals. If you are interested in moving to or from the Houston area, you will need to find a professional Houston moving company to do business with. When doing so, you may wonder what makes a moving company professional. When it comes to determining whether or not a Houston moving company can be classified as professional, there are a number of different factors that you will have to examine. Those factors should include the training that each employee undergoes, the amount of work experience each employee has, and the amount of time the moving company has been in business. Unfortunately, you may not be able to find this information out on your own. To understand whether or not the moving company of your choice can be considered professional, you may need that moving companys assistant. To first determine whether or not you are about to do business with a professional Houston moving company, you will have to find a moving company do to business with. You can easily find a number of moving companies by using the internet or a local Houston phone book. Once you have obtained the contact information of at least one Houston moving company, namely their telephone number, you can begin to collect information. When speaking to a moving company representative, it is important that you ask about the company as a whole. You will want to know how long the company has been in business. Professional moving companies, especially those that claim to have experience, should have been in business three to five years, at the least. You may also want to ask about the training that each employee receives, if any. This training may be important to the safe handling of your belongings. In addition to examining a Houston moving company as a whole, you may also want to further examine each employee. This may be a little bit difficult because most Houston moving companies employ multiple individuals. Even though you obtain information on a number of employees, it does not necessarily mean that you will get those exact same movers. Despite the fact that the movers you inquire about may not be the ones that you get, you may still want to ask about their dependability and on the job experience. As previously mentioned, you can also use the internet to obtain the contact information of a number of different Houston moving companies. When using the internet, you may also come across company websites. If a Houston moving company has an online website, it is likely that their online website will be filled with valuable information. That information may include the amount of experience they have, the services that they offer, and much those services cost. While doing research online is convenient, it is still advised that you directly contact each Houston moving company that you are looking for more information on. This will prevent errors and outdated information. By keeping the above mentioned points in mind, you should not only be able to find a Houston moving company, but a reliable one. When trusting all of your belongings to them, it is important that you only hire the best. Ted Garvin is a writer for Froggy Moving.com where you can find the best Houston Moving Company around, and other related information. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ted_Garvin http://EzineArticles.com/?What-Makes-a-Professional-Houston-Moving-Company-Professional?&id=295431 no credit personal loan
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Friday, May 2, 2008
Stepfamily Holiday Blues - How to Beat 'em
By Bobby Collins Among the many, many difficulties that stepfamilies face
throughout the
first years of their blending process, enjoying holidays
seems to be one
of the toughest. Your kids and stepkids have had quite a
year, preceding
this season. Now, into the middle of a home still trying to establish some
sort of
familiarity, come the holidays. And, rather than coming as a
break from
the day to day tension, special family celebrations tend to
add to the
confusion and stress. Just when you thought you had some
sort of routine
worked out and that you had figured out this new clan,
everyone goes
completely nuts over a "joyous" occasion. Now you find that dynamite can indeed come in small
packages. Such
minute matters as ... * when to open presents Christmas Eve or Morning, * who
to buy
presents for immediate family or inlaws or
exgrandparents, * what to
fix for a "traditional" holiday family dinner every family has
its own
special traditions that are most important, * or even which
ornaments
from which family get hung where on the family Christmas
tree, ... can have normally civilized families (which leaves out
many
stepfamilies!) at each other's throats. Well, here are a dozen suggestions to help ease the way.
(Sort of a "12
Ways of Christmas.") These suggestions come from a
variety of sources,
including our own experiences and those of the hundreds of
stepfamilies
we've worked with. I'll aHave a Blue Christmas What is it about the end of year holidays Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and
New Years that cause so much insanity in so many
people? Even
welladjusted, normal folks seem to shut down their
reasoning skills at these
times. And that's the normal minority of families who aren't
dealing with the
added bonuses we stepfamilies enjoy. We get to sweat over the logistics and timetables of not one,
but two
households' holiday schedules. Just as you are frantically
trying to
coordinate everyone's schedule in your family, your ex
informs you that
he'll have to have the kids that same day for his time with
them. And
you have to go along, because the kids have to celebrate at
their dad's
house, too. We also are visited by Ghosts of Christmases Past, carrying
bittersweet
memories of other family celebrations. None of the
memories are
painless. Bad memories of, for example, the year your
spouse got drunk and tore
open all the presents before the kids could get to them will
always be
part of our internal photo album, which opens whenever we
hear certain
carols or smell egg nog. But the good memories of that happy former family
enjoying the perfect
Christmas when the kids were so little and sweet those
can be just as
painful and disturbing in the midst of the chaos of a
blending family's
labor pains. We Wish For A Merry Christmas So, the seasonal insanity of the holidays isn't the sole
property of
stepfamilies. As noted earlier, everyone seems to suffer
from the virus,
but holidays are much tougher on stepparents. So much
tougher, in fact,
that many civil courts make a practice of allowing extra time
on their
dockets at this time of year for the flood of custodyrelated
cases. Harsh statistics reveal how hard the blending process can
be. While many
shake their heads over the nearly 50% divorce rate across
America, most
dont realize that the divorce rate for stepfamilies is closer to
65 to
85 percent for second and third marriages! I believe that
holiday
pressures contribute a great deal to that failure record. It takes a wholefamily effort to overcome the stigma and
the hazards of
blending two families with two backgrounds (which include
failures and
pain) into a new single family with a future. Some exfamily
members
never go away nor should they. Holiday gatherings usually involve past relationships that
many feel
would be easier left in the past. It is vitally important though,
especially for stepkids, to maintain contact with their roots.
Stepkids
suffer such disassociation with so many factors of the new
life that
grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins provide
necessary anchors of
assurance for them. However, right in the middle of a onceayear reunion,
tempers can flare
and old fights may be revived and more damage than good
may result. It is natural that these pressures build. What is not natural is
forgetting to care for your children's needs before your own.
All
stepfamilies experience tension, fears, frustrations, and
sadness over
unfulfilled dreams. Where the damage manifests itself during the holidays is
when you either
hold the pressure in until it explodes, or you withdraw from
the world
by natural or chemical means. If we don't deal with our
wounds, they
will fester and kill us. On top of the internal pressure is external conflict. Both
stepkids and
adults feel like outsiders in their own home because of new
family
members who are strangers. Stepkids are expected to
develop an immediate
family feeling for people they know nothing about. At best,
many
stepchildren at family gatherings are treated like honorary
homeless
guests invited in as a token of Christmas kindness. But what can you do? Have A Holly Jolly Christmas Here are some steps you can take to help your family and
you have a
more enjoyable holiday season. These ideas come from a
multitude of
sources. Some are things we have discovered in our own
family. Others
come from the hundreds of stepfamilies we have met with
over the years
in support groups we hold in person and over the Internet.
And still
others have been gleaned from emails sent to our web
site
(www.stepcarefully.com). On the FIRST day of Christmas: Begin your holiday survival plan by acknowledging to
yourself, and for
every member of your new family, that it's OK to feel sad
during "happy
holidays". Allow for some down time, but don't stay there. These
feelings that
we've discussed and which you are starting to feel are
natural. They are
shared by nearly every stepfamily around the world over 20
million in
America alone! Realize where you are in your life. This is a starting point to
a whole
future. Statistics show over and over that it takes an average
of four
to seven years for stepfamilies to blend. Too many couples
enter into a
stepfamily with unrealistic dreams that they will fall right into
a
happy home life in the first year or the first months, even! Accept that blending two families is tough, everyone has the
same fears.
Then move on. This is just one holiday season. Get through
this one with
at least some good times, and the next one will be easier. On the SECOND day of Christmas: Develop flexibility in your holiday plans. Everything doesn't
have to be
perfect. Again, realize that this is one celebration out of
many to
come. Next year, everyone will be a little more familiar with
each
other, a little more accepting. This is just one step in the
blending
process, not the whole thing. Being in a stepfamily means dealing with multiple family
plans. Your ex
or you spouse's ex will most likely have family
celebration plans of
their own, involving your kids. Naturally, it will be easier if you
can
work together in cooperation to coordinate both sets of
parents'
programs. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen very often. If
your
spouse's plans conflict with yours, you will have to find a
way to
compromise. More on this later. Remember that the purpose of family holidays is supposed
to be for loved
ones to gather and well, love each other. If your family gets
snippy
about the seating arrangements around the dinner table,
love them
anyway. You are building a new family, with new traditions.
Maybe one of
those new traditions can be that little things don't matter so
much. On the THIRD Day of Christmas: Keep a holiday journal of this, and every coming, holiday
gathering. Without some perspective, you will likely feel that
you are making no progress. But you will make progress. So, keep a journal. Record in it gifts given by and to whom,
where you
went, and some of the more notable things said and done.
These days are
valuable lessons, don't lose them. On the FOURTH Day of Christmas: Concentrate on making these Holy Days instead of
holidays. Through the
years, commercialism and frantic expectations have
distracted us from
the true reason we celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, the
New Year, and
Easter. Some families even hold birthday parties for Jesus! Rather
than give all
the gifts to each other, the best gifts go to homeless, poor,
or sick
families nearby. Whether you are a Christian, or you practice
another
faith, or none at all, this practice can move your holiday
mindset from
competition and frustration to reflection and patience. On the FIFTH Day of Christmas: Begin new traditions just for your new family. Every family,
every clan,
every culture has its own special traditions for holiday
celebrations.
You developed deeply rooted patterns in your former
household, and so
did your spouse's family. Many stepfamily conflicts involve
couples
trying to continue to do things the same way they always did
them. This
is a recipe for trouble! Far better, many believe, is to scrap all the old ways and find
new
traditions. Begin by letting everyone have a say about what
they would
like to do. You may have to push past some resistance as
members try to
hold on to old memories of what they did before. But it is
important
that everyone is part of the process. If one member tries to
force their
opinion or ideas on the whole group, it usually won't work as
well. Keep
a positive attitude about the process. Everyone can participate in passing out food or gifts at
homeless
shelters, orphanages, or halfway houses. Adopt a family to
share your
abundance with. Don't just give money; get the kids involved.
Let them
see how much more fortunate they are to live in your
stepfamily! Have a cookout. If you live somewhere warm, that's OK, but
this activity
will be more of an adventure if there is snow involved! Roast
hot dogs
and marshmallows. Look at the stars in the crisp, cold sky.
Tell
Christmas stories. Carols are optional. The point is to look for new activities you can repeat year
after year
to develop a kinship between the new family members. The
second, third,
and fourth times you do this, it will feel more comfortable,
and it will
bring back memories of this family's holidays. On the SIXTH Day of Christmas: Exchange life stories. Have the whole family as many as
you can gather
together, old and new prepare a short description of their
favorite
memory. This story can be about a funny time, a painful time, a trip, a
lost
friend, etc. No one needs to comment on the stories. If the
stepkids want to talk
about old times when mom and dad were still together,
that's OK. Spouses
should refrain from that, though. As the stories are told, look for insights into the teller's
personality
and dreams. You may get a glimpse of how your stepkids
really feel. Some
games, such as LifeStories, can be useful here to help
every one get to
know one another better. On the SEVENTH Day of Christmas: Switch days to celebrate to ease the pressure. If your kids'
noncustodial parent must (or just chooses to) have your
kids on the
holiday, you may want to consider this alternative. Many
stepparents
have found that having flexibility in this area makes everyone
more
relaxed. Tell them you want them to have two Christmases this year,
one with Dad
and one with you and stepdad. Then, don't scrimp on the
festivities.
Whatever new traditions you're going to practice, give them
as much
attention as your other activities. This brings up a very important point. The primary focus of
most holiday
celebrations is the children. However, in trying to give our
kids the
best holiday experience, we can get carried away. If your
honest desire
is to make you kids happy this season, then think of them
first. Constant bickering, tension and pressure to be happy
and have fun, and tug of wars over whose home, when will
not produce the desired result. Compromise, then make up lost time when they come
home. On the EIGHTH Day of Christmas: If your kids do have to travel to visit Dad, don't whine about it.
Family ties are important to all children, but especially so for
stepkids. After spending all year in a new home with new family
members to adjust
to, your kids probably will feel relieved to be back around
familiar
faces. Let them. Don't fret or obsess about their being gone.
Enjoy the free time; find some time just for yourself at least
every other day. When plans are being made for your kids' or stepkids' visit
away from
home, look for positives about the trip. Make sure you don't
make them
feel guilty about wanting to see their parent. It should go without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that you
should
take care to never ever put down your ex or your
spouse's ex in
front of their kids. Never tell your children how awful you
think their
Dad or Mom is! First of all, you wouldn't want them to hear
the same
sort of thing about you. And secondly, regardless of how you
feel about
him, he is still your kids daddy. To belittle him belittles them,
in
their eyes. On the NINTH Day of Christmas: If kids come to visit you for the holidays, don't neglect them.
Whether
they are your own children, for whom your spouse has
custody, or your
stepkids, make them part of everything that goes on. They are not ropes for a tug of war game. They are not
enemy spies from
the ex. They are children hoping to have some enjoyment
during a special
time of the year, in a place that is not their home. You have
the power
to make a positive or a negative impact on them. Children who visit their other parent's home seem to fall into
two
categories. They are either an extended part of the family, or
complete
outsiders. Kids who visit every other weekend or just twice a
year
deserve some permanent consideration. Make sure they
are comfortable and
settled. They're not pets dropped off on you for a kennel stay. (Can
you say, "Grinch"?) They are children who are basically at
the mercy of your courtesies. If you live in a small house and
have little extra money, be creative. Save up and buy (or even
borrow) some furniture a bed, a chest of drawers it
doesn't have to be a lot. The
point is to make an effort just for them out of love. These could be the kids who care for you when you are old! On the TENTH Day of Christmas: Wear thicker skin over the holidays. As the inevitable
pressures build
(in those unfortunate enough to have not read this book!), be
prepared
to be an example of patience and lovingkindness. Be careful that you don't lose control of yourself and damage
relationships you have to maintain throughout the rest of the
year.
Someone has to be the adult, it might as well be you. And
don't be a
martyr about it, telling everyone how tough it is, just do it with
a
smile. Even if no one else appreciates your strength, you
can feel proud
of yourself on January 4th! The kids who come visit you may very well be less than
gracious about your efforts to include them and make them
feel comfortable. Never mind. It's not really important how
well someone receives a gift from you. It's how you give the
gift that matters. The visiting kids may have been "prepped" by their mom or
dad to expect
you to be a monster, so they are putting up the best defense
a good
offense. Well, you just prove to them what kind of a person
you really
are! And you will, good or bad. On the ELEVENTH Day of Christmas: Get back into your daily routine as quickly as possible.
Children (and
adults, too) thrive on consistency. Give them assurance that
nothing
major changed over the holidays, unless it was for the good
by
strengthening ties. Through all the families we've worked with, it has become
increasingly
clear that kids need order in their lives. They want rules and
directions and security. Oh, they will deny it to the death! But
stepkids who have opened up to me have by and large
agreed that it makes
them feel safe and cared for to know what the rules are and
that they
will be enforced regularly. This tells them that their parents
are
willing to make an effort to raise them. It's easy to just let things go. Its harder to insist on
obedience. On the TWELFTH Day of Christmas: Keep your perspective. What's the bottom line in dealing
with holiday
madness in a stepfamily? The same three C's we teach in
all our
resources at STEPCarefully! Caring, Consideration, and
Common sense. ** Care for your loved ones. Care about how you are
teaching them to be
adults. Care about the reputation you will be carrying
through life. ** Be Considerate of others' feelings. Show consideration
and respect
for your new family's need for a solid, peaceful home. ** Use Common sense in handling problems. Some of the
battles just
aren't worth the effort. Common sense means backing up to
look at the
larger picture. Is this particular old holiday custom worth
fighting
over? Or would you be better off letting it go and trying
something
else. For the sake of your kids, act like Christian adults! It's
Christmas,
don't blaspheme the holiday by destroying what you've
taught all year
long. By Bobby Collins
Copyright 1999 -------------------------
[IMPORTANT NOTE: this text version is copied from our
original resource by the name "Beat the Holiday Blues",
which is copyrighted 1999, Bobby Collins,
http://www.stepcarefully.com, and all international copyright
restrictions apply. Please be careful to include the copyright
and contact information.] Bobby Collins is a stepdad first, then a minister, a certified
family mediator, and founder of STEP-Carefully! for
Stepparents!, the largest faith-based support organization
for stepfamilies in the country. His articles have appeared in
national publications and he has appeared on national TV
and radio programs always teaching stepparents how to
have healthier, happier families. His organization can be
reached on the Internet at http://www.stepcarefully.com
where visitors will find free articles, a free newsletter, and a
book store with proven stepfamily resources for sale.
Collins is best known for his private family mediation
between husbands and wives, ex-spouses, and
stepparents and their stepkids. With over a decade of
experience, he has helped thousands of stepfamilies
survive and succeed. Contact him directly at
coach@stepcarefully.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bobby_Collins http://EzineArticles.com/?Stepfamily-Holiday-Blues---How-to-Beat-em&id=43761 delete a debt from my credit report that has been sold
fix negative credit
credit reporting foreclosure
i would like to get a free credit report
throughout the
first years of their blending process, enjoying holidays
seems to be one
of the toughest. Your kids and stepkids have had quite a
year, preceding
this season. Now, into the middle of a home still trying to establish some
sort of
familiarity, come the holidays. And, rather than coming as a
break from
the day to day tension, special family celebrations tend to
add to the
confusion and stress. Just when you thought you had some
sort of routine
worked out and that you had figured out this new clan,
everyone goes
completely nuts over a "joyous" occasion. Now you find that dynamite can indeed come in small
packages. Such
minute matters as ... * when to open presents Christmas Eve or Morning, * who
to buy
presents for immediate family or inlaws or
exgrandparents, * what to
fix for a "traditional" holiday family dinner every family has
its own
special traditions that are most important, * or even which
ornaments
from which family get hung where on the family Christmas
tree, ... can have normally civilized families (which leaves out
many
stepfamilies!) at each other's throats. Well, here are a dozen suggestions to help ease the way.
(Sort of a "12
Ways of Christmas.") These suggestions come from a
variety of sources,
including our own experiences and those of the hundreds of
stepfamilies
we've worked with. I'll aHave a Blue Christmas What is it about the end of year holidays Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and
New Years that cause so much insanity in so many
people? Even
welladjusted, normal folks seem to shut down their
reasoning skills at these
times. And that's the normal minority of families who aren't
dealing with the
added bonuses we stepfamilies enjoy. We get to sweat over the logistics and timetables of not one,
but two
households' holiday schedules. Just as you are frantically
trying to
coordinate everyone's schedule in your family, your ex
informs you that
he'll have to have the kids that same day for his time with
them. And
you have to go along, because the kids have to celebrate at
their dad's
house, too. We also are visited by Ghosts of Christmases Past, carrying
bittersweet
memories of other family celebrations. None of the
memories are
painless. Bad memories of, for example, the year your
spouse got drunk and tore
open all the presents before the kids could get to them will
always be
part of our internal photo album, which opens whenever we
hear certain
carols or smell egg nog. But the good memories of that happy former family
enjoying the perfect
Christmas when the kids were so little and sweet those
can be just as
painful and disturbing in the midst of the chaos of a
blending family's
labor pains. We Wish For A Merry Christmas So, the seasonal insanity of the holidays isn't the sole
property of
stepfamilies. As noted earlier, everyone seems to suffer
from the virus,
but holidays are much tougher on stepparents. So much
tougher, in fact,
that many civil courts make a practice of allowing extra time
on their
dockets at this time of year for the flood of custodyrelated
cases. Harsh statistics reveal how hard the blending process can
be. While many
shake their heads over the nearly 50% divorce rate across
America, most
dont realize that the divorce rate for stepfamilies is closer to
65 to
85 percent for second and third marriages! I believe that
holiday
pressures contribute a great deal to that failure record. It takes a wholefamily effort to overcome the stigma and
the hazards of
blending two families with two backgrounds (which include
failures and
pain) into a new single family with a future. Some exfamily
members
never go away nor should they. Holiday gatherings usually involve past relationships that
many feel
would be easier left in the past. It is vitally important though,
especially for stepkids, to maintain contact with their roots.
Stepkids
suffer such disassociation with so many factors of the new
life that
grandparents, uncles and aunts, and cousins provide
necessary anchors of
assurance for them. However, right in the middle of a onceayear reunion,
tempers can flare
and old fights may be revived and more damage than good
may result. It is natural that these pressures build. What is not natural is
forgetting to care for your children's needs before your own.
All
stepfamilies experience tension, fears, frustrations, and
sadness over
unfulfilled dreams. Where the damage manifests itself during the holidays is
when you either
hold the pressure in until it explodes, or you withdraw from
the world
by natural or chemical means. If we don't deal with our
wounds, they
will fester and kill us. On top of the internal pressure is external conflict. Both
stepkids and
adults feel like outsiders in their own home because of new
family
members who are strangers. Stepkids are expected to
develop an immediate
family feeling for people they know nothing about. At best,
many
stepchildren at family gatherings are treated like honorary
homeless
guests invited in as a token of Christmas kindness. But what can you do? Have A Holly Jolly Christmas Here are some steps you can take to help your family and
you have a
more enjoyable holiday season. These ideas come from a
multitude of
sources. Some are things we have discovered in our own
family. Others
come from the hundreds of stepfamilies we have met with
over the years
in support groups we hold in person and over the Internet.
And still
others have been gleaned from emails sent to our web
site
(www.stepcarefully.com). On the FIRST day of Christmas: Begin your holiday survival plan by acknowledging to
yourself, and for
every member of your new family, that it's OK to feel sad
during "happy
holidays". Allow for some down time, but don't stay there. These
feelings that
we've discussed and which you are starting to feel are
natural. They are
shared by nearly every stepfamily around the world over 20
million in
America alone! Realize where you are in your life. This is a starting point to
a whole
future. Statistics show over and over that it takes an average
of four
to seven years for stepfamilies to blend. Too many couples
enter into a
stepfamily with unrealistic dreams that they will fall right into
a
happy home life in the first year or the first months, even! Accept that blending two families is tough, everyone has the
same fears.
Then move on. This is just one holiday season. Get through
this one with
at least some good times, and the next one will be easier. On the SECOND day of Christmas: Develop flexibility in your holiday plans. Everything doesn't
have to be
perfect. Again, realize that this is one celebration out of
many to
come. Next year, everyone will be a little more familiar with
each
other, a little more accepting. This is just one step in the
blending
process, not the whole thing. Being in a stepfamily means dealing with multiple family
plans. Your ex
or you spouse's ex will most likely have family
celebration plans of
their own, involving your kids. Naturally, it will be easier if you
can
work together in cooperation to coordinate both sets of
parents'
programs. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen very often. If
your
spouse's plans conflict with yours, you will have to find a
way to
compromise. More on this later. Remember that the purpose of family holidays is supposed
to be for loved
ones to gather and well, love each other. If your family gets
snippy
about the seating arrangements around the dinner table,
love them
anyway. You are building a new family, with new traditions.
Maybe one of
those new traditions can be that little things don't matter so
much. On the THIRD Day of Christmas: Keep a holiday journal of this, and every coming, holiday
gathering. Without some perspective, you will likely feel that
you are making no progress. But you will make progress. So, keep a journal. Record in it gifts given by and to whom,
where you
went, and some of the more notable things said and done.
These days are
valuable lessons, don't lose them. On the FOURTH Day of Christmas: Concentrate on making these Holy Days instead of
holidays. Through the
years, commercialism and frantic expectations have
distracted us from
the true reason we celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas, the
New Year, and
Easter. Some families even hold birthday parties for Jesus! Rather
than give all
the gifts to each other, the best gifts go to homeless, poor,
or sick
families nearby. Whether you are a Christian, or you practice
another
faith, or none at all, this practice can move your holiday
mindset from
competition and frustration to reflection and patience. On the FIFTH Day of Christmas: Begin new traditions just for your new family. Every family,
every clan,
every culture has its own special traditions for holiday
celebrations.
You developed deeply rooted patterns in your former
household, and so
did your spouse's family. Many stepfamily conflicts involve
couples
trying to continue to do things the same way they always did
them. This
is a recipe for trouble! Far better, many believe, is to scrap all the old ways and find
new
traditions. Begin by letting everyone have a say about what
they would
like to do. You may have to push past some resistance as
members try to
hold on to old memories of what they did before. But it is
important
that everyone is part of the process. If one member tries to
force their
opinion or ideas on the whole group, it usually won't work as
well. Keep
a positive attitude about the process. Everyone can participate in passing out food or gifts at
homeless
shelters, orphanages, or halfway houses. Adopt a family to
share your
abundance with. Don't just give money; get the kids involved.
Let them
see how much more fortunate they are to live in your
stepfamily! Have a cookout. If you live somewhere warm, that's OK, but
this activity
will be more of an adventure if there is snow involved! Roast
hot dogs
and marshmallows. Look at the stars in the crisp, cold sky.
Tell
Christmas stories. Carols are optional. The point is to look for new activities you can repeat year
after year
to develop a kinship between the new family members. The
second, third,
and fourth times you do this, it will feel more comfortable,
and it will
bring back memories of this family's holidays. On the SIXTH Day of Christmas: Exchange life stories. Have the whole family as many as
you can gather
together, old and new prepare a short description of their
favorite
memory. This story can be about a funny time, a painful time, a trip, a
lost
friend, etc. No one needs to comment on the stories. If the
stepkids want to talk
about old times when mom and dad were still together,
that's OK. Spouses
should refrain from that, though. As the stories are told, look for insights into the teller's
personality
and dreams. You may get a glimpse of how your stepkids
really feel. Some
games, such as LifeStories, can be useful here to help
every one get to
know one another better. On the SEVENTH Day of Christmas: Switch days to celebrate to ease the pressure. If your kids'
noncustodial parent must (or just chooses to) have your
kids on the
holiday, you may want to consider this alternative. Many
stepparents
have found that having flexibility in this area makes everyone
more
relaxed. Tell them you want them to have two Christmases this year,
one with Dad
and one with you and stepdad. Then, don't scrimp on the
festivities.
Whatever new traditions you're going to practice, give them
as much
attention as your other activities. This brings up a very important point. The primary focus of
most holiday
celebrations is the children. However, in trying to give our
kids the
best holiday experience, we can get carried away. If your
honest desire
is to make you kids happy this season, then think of them
first. Constant bickering, tension and pressure to be happy
and have fun, and tug of wars over whose home, when will
not produce the desired result. Compromise, then make up lost time when they come
home. On the EIGHTH Day of Christmas: If your kids do have to travel to visit Dad, don't whine about it.
Family ties are important to all children, but especially so for
stepkids. After spending all year in a new home with new family
members to adjust
to, your kids probably will feel relieved to be back around
familiar
faces. Let them. Don't fret or obsess about their being gone.
Enjoy the free time; find some time just for yourself at least
every other day. When plans are being made for your kids' or stepkids' visit
away from
home, look for positives about the trip. Make sure you don't
make them
feel guilty about wanting to see their parent. It should go without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that you
should
take care to never ever put down your ex or your
spouse's ex in
front of their kids. Never tell your children how awful you
think their
Dad or Mom is! First of all, you wouldn't want them to hear
the same
sort of thing about you. And secondly, regardless of how you
feel about
him, he is still your kids daddy. To belittle him belittles them,
in
their eyes. On the NINTH Day of Christmas: If kids come to visit you for the holidays, don't neglect them.
Whether
they are your own children, for whom your spouse has
custody, or your
stepkids, make them part of everything that goes on. They are not ropes for a tug of war game. They are not
enemy spies from
the ex. They are children hoping to have some enjoyment
during a special
time of the year, in a place that is not their home. You have
the power
to make a positive or a negative impact on them. Children who visit their other parent's home seem to fall into
two
categories. They are either an extended part of the family, or
complete
outsiders. Kids who visit every other weekend or just twice a
year
deserve some permanent consideration. Make sure they
are comfortable and
settled. They're not pets dropped off on you for a kennel stay. (Can
you say, "Grinch"?) They are children who are basically at
the mercy of your courtesies. If you live in a small house and
have little extra money, be creative. Save up and buy (or even
borrow) some furniture a bed, a chest of drawers it
doesn't have to be a lot. The
point is to make an effort just for them out of love. These could be the kids who care for you when you are old! On the TENTH Day of Christmas: Wear thicker skin over the holidays. As the inevitable
pressures build
(in those unfortunate enough to have not read this book!), be
prepared
to be an example of patience and lovingkindness. Be careful that you don't lose control of yourself and damage
relationships you have to maintain throughout the rest of the
year.
Someone has to be the adult, it might as well be you. And
don't be a
martyr about it, telling everyone how tough it is, just do it with
a
smile. Even if no one else appreciates your strength, you
can feel proud
of yourself on January 4th! The kids who come visit you may very well be less than
gracious about your efforts to include them and make them
feel comfortable. Never mind. It's not really important how
well someone receives a gift from you. It's how you give the
gift that matters. The visiting kids may have been "prepped" by their mom or
dad to expect
you to be a monster, so they are putting up the best defense
a good
offense. Well, you just prove to them what kind of a person
you really
are! And you will, good or bad. On the ELEVENTH Day of Christmas: Get back into your daily routine as quickly as possible.
Children (and
adults, too) thrive on consistency. Give them assurance that
nothing
major changed over the holidays, unless it was for the good
by
strengthening ties. Through all the families we've worked with, it has become
increasingly
clear that kids need order in their lives. They want rules and
directions and security. Oh, they will deny it to the death! But
stepkids who have opened up to me have by and large
agreed that it makes
them feel safe and cared for to know what the rules are and
that they
will be enforced regularly. This tells them that their parents
are
willing to make an effort to raise them. It's easy to just let things go. Its harder to insist on
obedience. On the TWELFTH Day of Christmas: Keep your perspective. What's the bottom line in dealing
with holiday
madness in a stepfamily? The same three C's we teach in
all our
resources at STEPCarefully! Caring, Consideration, and
Common sense. ** Care for your loved ones. Care about how you are
teaching them to be
adults. Care about the reputation you will be carrying
through life. ** Be Considerate of others' feelings. Show consideration
and respect
for your new family's need for a solid, peaceful home. ** Use Common sense in handling problems. Some of the
battles just
aren't worth the effort. Common sense means backing up to
look at the
larger picture. Is this particular old holiday custom worth
fighting
over? Or would you be better off letting it go and trying
something
else. For the sake of your kids, act like Christian adults! It's
Christmas,
don't blaspheme the holiday by destroying what you've
taught all year
long. By Bobby Collins
Copyright 1999 -------------------------
[IMPORTANT NOTE: this text version is copied from our
original resource by the name "Beat the Holiday Blues",
which is copyrighted 1999, Bobby Collins,
http://www.stepcarefully.com, and all international copyright
restrictions apply. Please be careful to include the copyright
and contact information.] Bobby Collins is a stepdad first, then a minister, a certified
family mediator, and founder of STEP-Carefully! for
Stepparents!, the largest faith-based support organization
for stepfamilies in the country. His articles have appeared in
national publications and he has appeared on national TV
and radio programs always teaching stepparents how to
have healthier, happier families. His organization can be
reached on the Internet at http://www.stepcarefully.com
where visitors will find free articles, a free newsletter, and a
book store with proven stepfamily resources for sale.
Collins is best known for his private family mediation
between husbands and wives, ex-spouses, and
stepparents and their stepkids. With over a decade of
experience, he has helped thousands of stepfamilies
survive and succeed. Contact him directly at
coach@stepcarefully.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Bobby_Collins http://EzineArticles.com/?Stepfamily-Holiday-Blues---How-to-Beat-em&id=43761 delete a debt from my credit report that has been sold
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